A Caregiver Needs Some “Me” Time..

Have you ever felt like you just needed a break - from everything?

Well, tomorrow I get one. Clay and I met a wonderful woman who’s husband became disabled for a time before he passed away. She is aquainted with the need a caregiver has for space, for rejuvenation, so she volunteered to stay with Clay while I spend a few hours doing anything I want.

Wow!!! What an amazing blessing.

The thing is, I have no idea what to do with myself. It has been a couple of years since I’ve been able to leave Clay for more than an hour or so while I run errands. As most caregivers come to accept, my life is not my own. I am a sallelite of my husband, hovering closeby, keeping an eye or ear open in case he needs assistance.

It’s the gravity of the situation, excuse the pun, that keeps me in his constant orbit.

My life is not bleak. On the contrary, we are blessed in many ways. We live in a nice rental, there’s plenty to do and many things to keep us entertained. However, I have found that the things I’ve really enjoyed doing in the past have fallen by the wayside.

My passions are healing, dancing, hiking, working out in the gym and traveling to new and exotic places.

Other than doing bodywork with my hubby, my passions have been put on hold. I’ve become a bit of a blob - very out of shape - and I seem to have lost motivation to do anything that isn’t directly involving Clay. I think this is a form of co-dependency that caregivers can get sucked into (beware!!), so this blessing of “alone time” has come at the perfect time.

Isn’t the universe wonderful?

Now that there are a few hours to play, what SHALL I do? I’ve forgotten how to live my life. It’s almost overwhelming.

Something grounding, something to make the blood pump - where no one needs me and nothing is urgent.

A retreat into body and soul.

Caregivers take heed! Get assistance, make sure you give yourself some “quality time”. Give up control and thinking no one will care as much as you. Take care of yourself .

You will be much happier, and a happy caregiver can give happier, better care.

- Kimberly Cotton